Just speaking of a small part of you now. The part of you that is in the 3D physical shell that you inhabit. The part of you that came to this planet how every many years, months, days, minutes and seconds ago through the portal of your mother’s cervix. Let’s call it “George”.
When George began the journey from a single cell to a body of bazillions of cells, he found himself floating in a sea of fluids. As he floated there inside his mother’s womb, listening to the sounds all around him, listening to the heartbeat of his mother. Listening to her thoughts – which included her fears, her pain, her happiness that were not only related to George, but to everything around her. And, as a kinesthetic being George’s tiny body, however many cells he had at the time, was also reacting and connecting to the mother’s body sensations in response to her world.
George learned how to breathe, how to sense and interpret and how to react to everything around him… because until the womb released him, he and she were of the same organism.
Then the big push came and George emerged from her body into the outside world and began that experience. The experience of a human being. From the very beginning George learned that he was at the mercy of his surroundings. No longer was he incased in warm fluids floating and observing. Now, he was immersed in a world where he was dependent on others to feed him, to provide warmth, to dress him, to nurture him and most importantly – to protect him.
If George was very lucky, he was honored, loved, coddled, protected and adored. If he was not, then…. Well, in that case, there is so much to say that I am not sure there is room here today.
Let’s talk about the George that was loved, coddled, protected and adored. That is so much more pleasant.
Let’s assume that George had caregivers, whether blood parents or chosen parents, that loved and adored him. He was listened to and everything that he did was considered “cute”, “adorable” or “so smart!”. George’s parents provided clothes that fit and were accepted by his peers. And, when those no longer fit they chose new ones for him. George’s parents provided him with a kaleidoscope of experiences from the circus, zoo, lakes, art, movies to outings with the extended family. They encouraged him when he was unsure and when he had done something good..
These parents did everything right. Right? So, how the heck did George turn out to be someone who can’t hold a job down or have a decent, lasting relationship?
It’s easy. Programming. Family and community programming is so subtle, so easy that it’s often totally overlooked.
Say this child of the perfect family overhears a conversation one night between the parents that goes something like this “Father: My company is closing in 3 days. What are we doing to do? We will never be able to pay the mortgage on day jobs. You are going to have to find work outside of the home now. I can’t do this by myself any longer. You are going to have to give up your weekly hair salon appointments and counselor sessions. George is going to have to go to a public school. We’re ruined! Our whole lives are going to change now because of the economy! We are doomed!”
I am not going to recount what the mother might have said in reply. And, it doesn’t matter that the company didn’t close and that their lives really never changed. What matters is in that second or overhearing that conversation, George learned several important things (programs).
He learned that no one is safe. He learned that going to a public school was a bad thing. He learned that his mother was going to have to make sacrifices and carry her weight in the family (as if she didn’t before – but he is being led to believe that she didn’t). And, but not least, he learned that the economy decides your fate and your ultimate doom.
As George grows up he has standards of choice. His first standard is that he must always have money in case something bad happens. His second standard is that his isn’t going to be the kind of woman that is pampered. She’s going to have to work just as he does. His third standard is a “no frills” rule. Should I go on?
Okay, we’ll change directions for a minute. Imagine George sitting in a lobby waiting for a friend. There is a weekend guide there on the table. As George flips through the guide he begins to see a trend. It seems that during the month there are numerous “self-help” workshops being offered. What do they all have in common? They all promise to erase negative programming and make you more self-confident. George scoffs at the ads as he mumbles to himself “why would I need that. I come from money. I don’t have any problems. My life is fantastic.” Guess again George.