Emotional Honesty Made Easy: How To Be Emotionally Honest In 3 Simple Steps

by Silvia Hartmann

Emotional Honesty Made Easy: How To Be Emotionally Honest In 3 Simple StepsEmotional Honesty is one of those pop psychology terms that can make a person’s life a misery. What is that supposed to mean? How is one supposed to be emotionally honest? Fear not. Here follows a simple explanation and a foolproof 3 step technique to become hardcore emotionally honest with yourself and other people. And it doesn’t even hurt … much …

Emotional Honesty Made Easy

How To Be Emotionally Honest In 3 Simple Steps

by Dr Silvia Hartmann, Author, Oceans Of Energy

Emotional Honesty is one of those pop psychology terms that can make a person’s life a misery. What is that supposed to mean? How is one supposed to be emotionally honest? Fear not. Here follows a simple explanation and a foolproof 3 step technique to become hardcore emotionally honest with yourself and other people. And it doesn’t even hurt … much …

What is Emotional Honesty anyway?!

Folk use the term “emotional honesty” but have only the vaguest idea what they actually mean by that. Generally, the term is used as a kind of weapon against people who have trouble “expressing their emotions” in so many words, and it is extremely unfair and confusing.

So let’s start at the beginning with our 21st Century definition of what emotions are. We have discovered that emotions are movements of energy through the energy body which we can feel in our physical body. Any form of emotion has a physical sensation associated with it, or else we could not “feel” the emotion.

When people are afraid, for example, they feel in their bodies various symptoms and sensations. For example, their hands might grow cold and sweaty; they might feel strong tension in the shoulders and the neck, and a sinking or swirling sensation in their stomach.

  • Those physical feelings are THE REAL EMOTIONS.

Now what happens is that people put a whole load of words over the top of that – I’m upset, I’m terrified, I’m feeling trapped with no way out, I’m feeling like walking on crumbling ice, I am procrastinating, and all sorts ad infinitum.

None of that really helps another person understand “how they are really feeling” and none of that helps a person understand their own emotions, or “achieve emotional honesty”.

So step 1 on our three step journey towards brutal, full, and complete emotional honesty is:

1. Find the feeling in your body!

When the questions is asked, “How do you feel right now?” simply focus on the feelings in your body and find the places where your body feels wrong in some way. Don’t even try to put a word label on how you really feel. Most if not all emotions can’t really be described by “off the shelf” terms such as angry, sad, happy and so forth. The combinations of feelings in the body is like a cocktail with numerous ingredients, and one man’s anger is never the same as another man’s anger.

This is step 2 for emotional honesty:

2. Describe the feeling in your body in the simplest terms possible!

So instead of saying, “I feel trapped,” we would say HONESTLY whatever it feels like, right now. For example, “I feel my throat being tight, and a pressure in my head.”

That’s honest. That’s real. Those are the real emotions at this moment, described as directly and as honestly as one can only describe emotions and feelings.

And now, to the most important step, step 3.

3. Refuse to label these feelings!

One of the unfortunate side effects of a hundred years of pop psychology and talking psychotherapy is that folk have gotten used to talking ABOUT feelings, rather than DEALING WITH THE FEELING.

This leads into a labyrinth of misunderstandings and secondary emotions, confusion, misery, and a total break down in communication!

So when you say, “I feel my throat is tight, and a pressure in my head,” it can happen that the other person, wife or therapist or friend alike, will say, “So you mean you are feeling trapped?”

At which point you must refuse to go down that path and simply re-iterate, “No, I didn’t say that. I said that what I feel, what I honestly feel right now, is a sensation of tightness in my throat, and a pressure in my head.”

This does many things.

Most importantly, it stops the communication descending into some kind of pop therapy argument that no-one can win, no-one can lose, and that doesn’t help anyone.

It forces people who are used to labelling emotions and then making all sorts of meanings out of that into reality, into what there really is – in this case, a person who feels as though they are being strangled and who has a headache! sitting opposite form them.

Instead of going down their usual train-track paths of accusations and ifs, buts, whys and wherefores, they have to start re-thinking the entire situation.

And hopefully, the question will then arise – what we can we do about that?

How can we make that better? How can we make you feel better? How can we make it so that you DON’T feel these uncomfortable feelings in your body under these circumstances?

The answer to that is not more talking either.

Stroking your throat, your head, that might work … Even giving you a cup of coffee would change the situation.

It would honestly change the emotions.

Of course, we use EmoTrance to move energy and make people feel better in the true sense of the word, but simply being “emotionally honest” about what you really feel IN YOUR BODY changes the game of “let’s you and me psychotherapise our relationship to death!” instantly and replaces it with something far more interesting, and far more useful to all concerned.

In the meantime, I encourage you to practice your “emotional honesty” by yourself and with yourself.

Stop every so often and ask yourself, “How do I feel right now?”

Don’t accept word answers like “I’m scared” or “I’m stressed” or “I’m depressed.”

Go further into emotional honesty and take note of what you really feel in your body, and where you feel those feelings.

That’s the truth of how you’re feeling, those are your real emotions.

Once you understand that simple principle and start paying attention to your feelings, you can be a guiding light in emotional honesty – and teach the pop psychologists who are talking, talking still, a thing or two about “emotional honesty”.

Dr Silvia Hartmann

September 2010



Most practitioners have experienced a client that has an energy that comes up for release to be so intense that the client has a mini-melt down. And, hopefully, most practitioners have a method in their pocket for handling this situation and don’t leave the client in trauma.

As a Master Trainer for EFT and EmoTrance, I have seen the effect that this has on the practitioners in training. Some go straight into healing mode and assist the client through it. Some go into panic mode and don’t know what to do. That’s where I come in…

I have had students that come to the course have meltdowns that are addressed. After all, isn’t it usually the person wanting to learn a new modality that have the most issues to clear? That’s why most people are attracted to the healing arts.

I have been a trainer for EmoTrance for about eight years now. I love EmoTrance and have seen it save many lives – literally. While, EmoTrance is highly effective, there is always a way to be more efficient in what you do, right? Coaching through the softening and flowing works wonderfully. What if you could help a little more? This is one of the reasons why I absolutely love EmoTrance; it is so easy to combine it with other therapies.

Try this one. It’s called the Occipital/Frontal Lobe Hold. While the hold is being done, continue to coach them with the EmoTrance tools. It can be done by the client or you can do it for them while they process. Now, here you go:

* Place one hand over the forehead (Frontal Lobe)
* Now, place the other hand on the back of the head or lower back brain (Occipital Lobe).
* While they (or you) are focusing on the energy at hand, think or say “soften and flow” then “release and let go”.
* Be aware of the sensations in your body. You will know where the energy moves to.
* Then follow the energy through your body “softening and flowing” until it finds an appropriate exit.

Holding the frontal lobe and occipital can often act within a minute to restore a sense of calm and improve focus and attention. However it is fine to hold them for a long time and many times a day. Used in trauma response, they can be held continually. In therapy, an issue that has stress or some other form of protective response is visualized or re-experienced, while the points are held. Often after a few moments, the client will sigh, or indicate a change of state in some other way.

You can stop here, or if you continue holding the position, focusing on the original emotional energy while yet another layer may emerge, linked to the original emotion being worked with. Again after a few moments, this energy may soften and flow out. Now, bring back up the emotional energy and repeat the process until when you think about that emotional issue, it is no longer an issue or you feel invigorated instead of stressed. There have been instances of where at the end of three rounds of this the client can’t even remember what the original emotional issue was. Let me know if you need help in the processing.

The description of this hold says that it is useful when stressed, confused, have head ache or need to release a strong emotion such as anger, fear… Also great for memory retrieval or while meditating on creative solutions. Hold the Frontal & Occipital Hold for a few minutes, until relief is felt, a sense of relaxation, shift or feel the pulses synchronize. Here’s a full description:
How does Frontal & Occipital Hold work?

By engaging and stimulating the meridian or neurovascular reflex points (located in the front of the head), you increase vascular flow through the body thereby inducing a state of relaxation.

The Frontal Lobe is where we process our thoughts and emotions. The Occipital is where we file our past experiences and memories.

This hold helps us bring up the old stuff to be processed and released easily and efficiently.

ImageI can see there is an enormous need for this work. The first webinar went great and I have had a request for a second one. 

So – there’s a second chance to join me for this important work – on Tuesday, May 6th at 7 pm CST

Do you suffer from Panic Attack Disorder? Are you a counselor or therapist working with people going through emotional crisis? 

Do you know how to identify a panic attack?

Panic attacks involve sudden feelings of terror that strike without warning. These episodes can occur at any time, even during sleep. A person experiencing a panic attack may believe that he or she is having a heart attack or that death is imminent. The fear and terror that a person experiences during a panic attack are not in proportion to the true situation and may be unrelated to what is happening around them. Most people with panic attacks experience several of the following symptoms:

• “Racing” heart
• Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy
• Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers
• Sense of terror, or impending doom or death
• Feeling sweaty or having chills
• Chest pains
• Breathing difficulties
• Feeling a loss of control

Panic attacks are generally brief, lasting less than 10 minutes, although some of the symptoms may persist for a longer time. People who have had one panic attack are at greater risk for having subsequent panic attacks than those who have never experienced a panic attack. When the attacks occur repeatedly, a person is considered to have a condition known as panic disorder.

People with panic disorder may be extremely anxious and fearful, since they are unable to predict when the next episode will occur. Panic disorder is fairly common and affects about 2.4 million people in the U.S., or 1.7% of the adult population between the ages of 18 and 54. Women are twice as likely as men to develop the condition, and its symptoms usually begin in early adulthood.

Would you like to test drive an application that can help you do more, be more, give more to your clients? 

This Sunday I am hosting a webinar for people with panic attacks.

It’s not just for the sufferers, you know… the counselors and therapists can benefit from this webinar as well. 

How, do you say? You can learn a new tool to use with your clients. If the tool is useful to you, you can take a full course to become certified in it so that you can add it to your credentials. How cool is that! 

How many times do you get to test drive a new tool before you spend hundreds or thousands of your hard earned money to get the knowledge and credentials to be capable of listing it in your practice? Well, you do now. 

For only $55.55 you can see how this life-saving tool that we call EmoTional TranceFormation (EmoTrance) can work for you. 

Register here: 

Be sure that you have the necessary programs and plugins to join a live webcast before the event. 

I have noticed a tendency for people to panic when they experience a sudden shift in their perception.   You know what I mean; confusion, depression, anxiety.  All of which are not the norm for you and so you get caught up in the “WTH” consciousness, sometimes.  

Yesterday I posted on facebook that going back to bed might be an option for me which elicited many responses of sympathy and well wished.  All received with love and gratefulness although my message was misunderstood.  I didn’t post that because I was sick or feeling down.  It was because things were just “off” enough for me to notice that there was a shift and because I was not acknowledging it, I was attracting chaos and confusion.  

Most of my relatives here are in a constant state of beingness and growth.  When you expand from your normal state of consciousness it brings up programs and belief systems  that no longer serve you to be released. 

Those that feel they are “highly evolved” and have done so much work that you should never experience “a bad day”; guess what.   We live our lives in a community of other human beings, in a conscious world of electro magnetic fields (EMF) and subliminal programming all over the place.  

And, mostly, you have to realize that you are an ever-expanding spiritual being.  In that, you are constantly reviewing, renewing, regenerating and sometimes that expresses itself in negative emotional experiences.   You should know that this is just a momentary shift in your consciousness.   It helps to acknowledge that it is occurring and then just let it go.  Using tools such as EmoTrance, EFT, Belief Repatterning, Sacred Activations, Access Consciousness, Reiki and such helps to shift the energy faster.  

All that to say “don’t panic – it’s temporary”.  Use your tols.  Ask for help. ❤

Imagine woman

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life. …
Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.
Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.
Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.
~Patricia Lynn Reilly
Photo © Joey Lawrence


What is the EmoTional TranceFormation Method? 

ETM, formerly called EmoTrance, was developed by Dr. Silvia Hartmann in England. As it is entirely and strictly focused on the movement of energy in, through and out the energy body, it is “content free” in the best sense of the word and can be applied to just about anything that can be thought of, worry or feel pain about – this includes: 

  • ¨ Any relationship issues or challenges
  • ¨ Remove anxiety and panic attacks
  • ¨ Grief/bereavement
  • ¨ Resolve/repair emotional trauma
  • ¨ School or career challenges
  • ¨ Goal setting/planning
  • ¨ Self identity
  • ¨ Renew confidence
  • ¨ Sports performance
  • ¨ and so much more besides. 

What will this one day workshop do for me? 

During this one day personal experience workshop you will be given the history and simple protocol for ETM and with it you will be taken through several exercises to clear key issues in your life that keep you from healing, moving forward and making clear choices. 

There is more to the ETM system, much more, including the option for training and certification as a practitioner and/or trainer.  This workshop; however, is an introduction to the system of ETM.  

Join us, see how this method can help you in your everyday life.  Anything is possible with ETM

Workshop Details:

Date:       March 30, 2013

Time:      noon—7 pm

Venue:    Dynamic Yoga 4 Love Studio, 558 Blue Bird Ln., Red Oak, TX

Cost:       $125

Registration is required: Its-About-Energy.Com





StressSeems To Always Be Present

In the old way, every human occupied part of the Earth lived as a clan or tribe.  Some cultures still recognize them and live according to those patterns set by the ancestors for honoring and respect.  Some people look back on that time and say “it was so much easier then… no stress”.  Not true.  Although their lives were simpler in the sense of survival and responsibilities, each one of those tribes or clans had a recognized leader, (Chief, King, Emperor, etc).  And, activities, status and responsibilities were assigned to each member to ensure the survival of the tribe.  For the most part, everyone worked with one goal in mind – survival.  And, they lived according to the seasons.  They ate according to availability, slept with the sun’s schedule, traveled when it was necessary and “jobs” were simple and dependable, living in flow with the all that is.  Only a few ever challenged the way it was.

Still, there was stress.  Although you would think they were all free, they were not. They were under the rule or were governed by the ruling body.  They still had the stress of survival and the stress of relationships. That much hasn’t changed. Factor in stress caused by warfare, devastation through weather patterns like earthquakes, droughts, floods, etc.  Of course, their bodies were able to handle the stress easier because their diets were pure, the air pure, the water pure and the living much simpler.

And, here we are in the year 2012.  We are still stressed by the threat to our survival and relationships through warfare, devastation from earthquakes, droughts, floods, etc.  The difference is that most of us have an unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, plus being bombarded every day by negativity programming though the news media, communities, social networking, and numerous other outlets.  And, factor in the programming about the end of the world prophecies.

Emotions are feelings in the body which have no physical cause.  They are felt physically and produce very powerful physical responses. When you relieve stress, people become calmer, more reasonable and more rational and are less likely to think illogical or to react in an unpredictable manner.

Remove the burden of stress from a person, and will see a person who is more lovable, resourceful and more capable of dealing with every day challenges.  Many of our medical diagnoses are condensed stress.  And, the more stressed, the more severe the symptoms become:

  • Emotional – anger, sadness, aggression, withdrawal, relationship problems, communication failure, selfishness, seclusion, inability to communicate, low self-esteem, etc.
  • Mental –  unrealistic or mixed-up thoughts, inability to think clearly, hallucinating, paranoia, doubts, illogical beliefs, values and attitudes, conflicts, indecision, forgetting vocabulary, mixing up words, grammatical disturbances, high level use of expletives and swear words, stuttering, inability to express vocally, inappropriate voice pitch and volume, etc.
  • Physical – jerky gestures, strained facial expressions, uncoordinated/clumsy, holding one’s breath, voice disturbances, clenching/tense muscles, trembling, shaking, blushing, performance failure, accident prone, addictions, etc.
  • Medical conditions – GERD (heartburn, indigestion), high blood pressure, heart attack/stroke, migraines, sleep disturbances, immune system  failure, fatigue, obesity, arthritis, asthma, depression, anxiety, etc.

And, you thought this was going to be a positive, uplifting post?  Well you are right.  It is!!!   I just had to show you first what you have to lose; stress, and what you have to gain; peace and a valuable tool for dealing with everyday stress that will leave you energized, alert, and actually looking forward to change.  Change is inevitable, you know.  It’s the ever-flowing energy of everything.  Nothing stays the same.  Even when you die and you think that’s the end.. it isn’t.   It is actually the beginning of something new.

If you were to reflect on your life, even as recent as 30 minutes ago, what happened that caused you to have a reaction?  Did you have an emotional reaction such as sadness, pity, love, appreciation, happiness, anger, etc?  Did your body react in the way of the heart rate speeding up, the stomach churning, your head hurting, your ears ringing, your eyes tearing up?

If you were to reflect on that instance again.. just for a second and feel that same reaction you might realize that it is still there.  Yes, it doesn’t really come in, though and out as it should.  It is stuck there, that emotional reaction, that emotional energy.  And, it will most likely continue to revisit you from time to time until it is released.

So, let’s go for three!  If you were to reflect on that instance again, just for a second and where ever you feel that sensation or emotion, just focus there and say to yourself “soften and flow”.  What happens?  Some of you will have felt a movement in your body.  Perhaps you actually felt the sensation of that energy moving to a different part of your body. Some of you might not have felt anything in the way that you can track it, but you might feel a difference in your emotional reaction to that “instance” now.

Are you willing to see where this goes?  Now, wherever you feel the sensation now, focus there and say again “soften and flow”… not making it flow but just intending that it will soften and that it will flow when it is soft enough to be fluid and can move.  Where is it now?  Follow it through your body intending it soften and flow until you feel it leave or until you no longer have physical sensations related to this exercise.

Now, bring up the instance again and go through the same exercise of finding/locating the sensation and intending that it soften and flow then following it softening and flowing until it leaves your body.  It should go much faster and easier this time.

One last time – follow the same protocol as before.  This time you should feel just a slight twinge or sensation.  That’s it.

This technique was named “EmoTrance” which is simply Emotional Transformation.  It was developed by Dr. Silvia Hartmann in England in 2002.

This demonstration was only a small part of what you can accomplish in your life and the changes you can make with EmoTrance.

If you would like to know more about this incredibly easy tool, there are many live courses being offered in the Dallas area and around the world.  Seating is limited so you should register as soon as possible.  The cost to attend the one day introduction, where you learn the basic procedure and are taken through exercises to clear most everyday emotional damage, is only $125.

To reserve your place, please contact me at or go to Its-About-Energy.Com